“People love you most for the things you hate and hate you for loving the things you can’t keep straight. People judge you on a curve and tell you you’re getting what you deserve, and this too shall be made right.”
I was trying to post a link to Matthew Paul Turner’s blog about all the Caylee/Casey Anthony/Not Guilty hysteria, and as I started to type an accompanying remark, I realized I had more to say than was appropriate in that venue.
Matthew Paul Turner (who you may know as Jesus Needs New PR) raised a lot of good and important questions about why it is that we care so much about this one particular case. Like him, I did not follow the case day in and day out, and I understand that those who did came away from yesterday’s “not guilty” verdict feeling angry and cheated. My Facebook and Twitter feeds were filled with “righteous indignation” as people decried the “lack of justice” for Caylee. All I could think is that Caylee does not care one bit whether we leave our porch lights on or change our Facebook status to support her. She is in a better place.
What about the children who aren’t? What about the living, breathing children who face abuse, hunger, and neglect every single day? Do we care about those children, or do we only care about justice in this one, highly-publicized case? And we care inasmuch as we aren’t required to do anything except rail at the system that we believed has failed.
“Children dream of wishing wells whose waters quench all the fires of Hell, and this too shall be made right.”
I spent the months of May and June fundraising for Love146, an organization that spends every day and every dollar doing their part to stop child sex trafficking and give innocent children their lives back. Two children are sold into slavery every minute (1.2 million children every year) and the resulting sex trade nets $32 billion annually. That is a lot of little girls like Caylee (or like Child #146) that deserve our attention and our thirst for justice. Yet, though I emailed friends and family, blogged, posted on Facebook and Twitter, asking for any little bit of help for those children, I heard little but crickets chirping in response. In one particularly revolting scenario, my description of this organization’s purpose caused the three people I was telling to erupt with laughter at the very notion of helping these children.
I would like to first say that I do not even come close to doing all I can to help, and I need to do better. I would also like to express my gratitude to those who DID offer their generous support to that cause. And I understand that not everyone is able to give large donations to any cause, no matter how noble, and that’s OK. But what troubles me is that so many people spent the last year of their lives seeking justice for a child who is gone, and could not be bothered to seek justice for the MILLION children objectified and brutalized in that same time frame – children who are still alive and need help.
“We say we’re just trying to stay alive, but it looks so much more like a way to die, and this too shall be made right. There’s a time for peace and there is a time for war. A time to forgive and a time to settle the score. A time for babies to lose their lives, a time for hunger and genocide, and this too shall be made right.”
So, if you want to leave your porch light on and grit your teeth and wish for Casey Anthony to burn in Hell, then by all means do. But if somehow, that doesn’t seem like the most fruitful use of your time, I would implore you to consider taking that anger and that love of justice and applying it liberally to something still within your grasp. Help a child that is living in pain through Love146 or Freedom 4/24. Help a brother or sister in Africa get clean water to drink through Blood:Water Mission. Put a smile on the face of a child born with a cleft palate or other facial deformity through Operation Smile. Whatever your passion, find a way to help someone who needs it, because Caylee no longer does.
“I don’t know the suffering of people outside my front door, and I join the oppressors of those I choose to ignore. I’m trading comfort for human life, and that’s not just murder, it’s suicide. And this too shall be made right.”
(Lyrics from “This Too Shall Be Made Right” by Derek Webb.)
I marvel at those lists that boast the best songs or albums… of the year, of the decade, or of all time. I am equally fascinated every time someone posts a more personal list of their 10 favorite songs or their most influential albums. Just thinking about crafting a list of that sort is daunting enough to scare me away from it. I feel like my opinions on that change with every day, every mood, and every new album released. The only question I can answer with some certainty is “Who is your favorite artist?” and even then, it’s a three-way tie between Derek Webb, Ryan Adams, and Levi Weaver.
There are songs that I will always love for various reasons. I’d never scroll past a radio station playing “She’d Give Anything” (Boy Howdy) because it brings a surge of memories, and quite frankly, I still relate to it. But I also couldn’t really name one other song that group ever did – and I probably wouldn’t want to! On the other end of the musical spectrum, there are songs like “Paris is Burning” by St. Vincent, which – while I have no emotional attachment to it whatsoever – awes me every time I hear it. That song is a work of art – a masterpiece, actually. But it doesn’t hold a piece of my heart like that cheesy country song from 1994.
Then, there are songs that are my favorites for a day, a week, or a month, and then I move on. I get stuck on songs like “Daughters of the Soho Riots” (The National) or “I and Love and You” (The Avett Brothers) and listen to them on repeat until they are branded on my soul. But catch me one Friday afternoon in the summer on the open road with the windows down, and I just might be rocking out to Fall Out Boy. When I’m 90 and in the nursing home, I’m going to remember The National, but “Dance Dance”? Probably not.
I face this internal conflict about music. On the one hand, I savor music that is well-crafted, with atypical chord progressions and lyrics that slay me. On the other, I can and will rock out like a 12-year-old when I hear the New Kids on the Block, and I pity the fool standing between me and the dance floor if the DJ plays “You Shook Me All Night Long.” It’s like I have Multiple Musical Personality Disorder. And I make no apologies for it.
Thankfully, I have a lot of friends who are the same way, and we float recommendations back and forth to great effect. Word of mouth is the new way to discover music, since radio is on life-support and desperately waiting for someone to put it out of its misery. I’ve also discovered quite a few artists thanks to music supervisor Lindsay Wolfington and music-loving show creator Mark Schwahn over at One Tree Hill, who are responsible for introducing me to the likes of Trespassers William, Lucero, Wakey!Wakey! and others, as well as causing me to give a little more play to music legends like The Cure or Led Zeppelin.
So, despite my ever-changing, ever-growing musical catalogue, I decided to attempt to satiate the masses (heh.) by discussing some artists, albums, or songs that have either had a profound impact on me, or that represent an era in my life.
Let me begin by saying that I grew up on country music. And when I say “grew up on,” the truth is that I’m not sure I even knew that any other kind of music existed. When people talked about “the King,” I figured that must surely be George Strait. I don’t regret that upbringing by any means. Even though country music crashed into Shania Twain mountain long ago, some of it still holds a special place in my heart. For example, Clint Black was my first crush (not counting He-Man) in his tight jeans (why, Clint?), his blazer, his black cowboy hat, and that grin. I still think he is adorable to this day. My favorite artist growing up, though, was The Judds. They provided the soundtrack to my childhood, and I still love listening to them. I have every album they ever made, but back when all I had was two Judds’ cassettes (Love Can Build a Bridge and River of Time), my Mom had the Greatest Hits on vinyl. Anytime I was left home alone as a child, I’d slip down to the record-player and crank this album up while I sang along and danced around the living room. When I was 10, Naomi got sick and The Judds came down to just Wynonna. Her solo album was the first CD I ever owned, given to me on my birthday along with a “boom box” that still resides somewhere in the dark depths of my closet. And since not many pre-teens can afford to expand their record collections too much, this album is about all I listened to for years. I loved every beat of it. I still think Wynonna is one tough broad with an amazing voice. And lest I should ever be without a boots-clad, guitar-playing country boy to swoon over, I have Joe Nichols for that.
Then, about 15 years ago, my musical landscape changed forever. I related the story on my old blog of how I came to own the self-titled Caedmon’s Call cassette tape, which was my introduction to what would become my favorite band of all time. This album made me fall head over heels in love with music, and I have never looked back. That album followed into 40 Acres, which houses one of the contenders for my favorite song (“Somewhere North”) as well as the song responsible for my internet alter-ego, “Shifting Sand.” After the release of “Long Line of Leavers” in 2000, Caedmon’s Call lost a few of their key members – Aaron Tate and Derek Webb – to other projects. Unfortunately, Derek and Aaron were their chief songwriters, and without their well-crafted lyrics to drive the music, the band lost quite a bit of its luster in my eyes.
Three years later, I got the magic back when Derek Webb re-emerged with his first solo offering, “She Must and Shall Go Free.” To me, it packed a punch akin to Luther’s 95 Theses, and Derek has not stopped convicting and infuriating the Christian community since. No matter what anyone says about Derek Webb, though, he stands by his convictions and backs them up with the way he lives his life. So, even if I don’t always agree with him, I can always respect him. Luckily, we tend to agree. I had the great privilege of meeting Derek Webb several years back, and since then, I’ve scarcely missed a show within a reasonable driving distance, and I find that I enjoy hearing what he has to say as much as listening to his songs.
Of course, I listened to more in my teen and college years than just Derek Webb and Caedmon’s Call (though that certainly captured the majority of my attention). Alanis Morissette got me through the angst with “Jagged Little Pill,” which was certainly a departure from my usual musical style, but a great album is a great album and THAT was a great album. To carry on with my country background, I left the Dixie Chicks’ “Wide Open Spaces” in my CD player for probably a year, and even if I live to be 200 years old, I’ll probably still know that album from beginning to end. And like any good teenager of the 90s, I had to participate in the great debate: ‘NSYNC or BSB? I sided with the Backstreet Boys and collected EVERYTHING – carefully-clipped magazine articles, posters covering 90% of my bedroom walls, CDs shaped like their heads (which you probably didn’t know existed, did you?), and VHS tapes of concerts that I watched over and over again with my cousin, Tracey. She loved Brian and I loved AJ. I kind of still have an AJ poster on the wall in my office at home, but I swear, I’ve been thinking about taking it down. For some weightier subject matter, I had Jennifer Knapp’s Kansas, which remains a favorite album of mine to this day.
Over the course of college, I stopped hearing any new music that I liked, because the radio certainly wasn’t playing it, and I didn’t really know where to get it. I also had some trying times in college, where I listened to Alison Krauss non-stop in my car as if the engine wouldn’t run otherwise. At a certain point, I wasn’t listening to music much at all, because there was nothing to compel me or excite me or awaken that part of me anymore.
Then one day, something happened that changed my life as much if not more than that Caedmon’s Call cassette had ten years earlier….
I created a MySpace profile. I know what you’re thinking. MySpace is basically a joke now (although I am thinking of returning there post-haste if they can promise no Farmville or Mafia Wars), but there was a time when MySpace was the hub of the internet and, for all its faults, it created the opportunity for independent artists to network and connect with fans that would never hear their songs played on the radio or stumble into one of their shows. The down side was that anyone who thought they had talent could put their music out there to the masses, and it became tedious trying to separate the wheat from the chaff.
Before the random friend requests became overwhelming, though, and MySpace was still quite new to me, I got a request to become “friends” with an England-based musician by the name of Levi Weaver. I clicked over to his page out of curiosity and immediately connected to the music that I heard. The lyrics were brilliant – with depth and authenticity – and the sound drew me in completely. Beyond that, I gave the profile a once-over and the bio impressed me enough that I decided to message Mr. Weaver and let him know that he had a new fan in me.
To my surprise, I received a fast response from Levi, despite the fact that it was well past midnight in England at the time. I’m not sure I can trace the progression from there, but suffice it to say we have become friends over the years, and music or not, I feel blessed to know him. Luckily for all of us, he has continued to produce one amazing song after the other with no signs of slowing down. So, I am grateful to be along for the ride, and because I pity the people who have not been introduced to his music, I try to spread the word at any opportunity.
(To wit, you can actually go HERE and subscribe to the new album AND get your hands on the rest of his catalog for one very small lump sum. Support independent artists, people!)
Discovering Levi’s music was enough to reawaken my slumbering zeal for the arts, but it didn’t stop there, because Levi proceeded to turn me on to the third member of my musical trifecta – Ryan Adams.
While I have specific (heart-warming!) stories to relate about Derek Webb and Levi Weaver, I have no such anecdote for Ryan Adams. I’ve never met him, and can boast only having been within about 20 or 30 feet of him at concerts. All I know is that once I got a small taste of his music, I could not stop listening until I had heard it all. And hearing it “all” is no small feat when you’re talking about a musical genius the likes of Ryan Adams, who gained renown for cranking out music faster than his fans could listen to it. Since I arrived at the party about a decade late (when you count his earlier Whiskeytown recordings), I had a lot of catching up to do. I started with a few selected songs that spanned the years, and then rushed out to get his latest release at the time, “Easy Tiger.” I loved it and it sent me into a frenzy collecting the other albums – albums that even surpassed what I had already heard. “Heartbreaker” (possibly his most acclaimed album), “Cold Roses,” and “Love Is Hell,” to name a few, are filled with amazing melodies, lyrics, and emotions. Much of his music was never officially released through a label, and came through Adams himself as he released the music online directly to fans – and the songs are by no means second rate! My favorite studio album, though, is “Gold.” The title may imply that it is some kind of “best of” collection, but it’s not – it’s an original album that houses several of my favorite Ryan Adams’ songs, like “The Rescue Blues” and “New York, New York.” While a lot of his music tends toward the melancholy, the content of “Gold” seems a bit lighter when compared to some of his other fare. It also contains the widely-covered song, “When the Stars Go Blue,” which shines best through the voice of its author. (And I can only hope that Ryan Adams got a LOT of money from Tim McGraw’s cover version, because that has got to be the most tragic thing to happen to a song in my lifetime.)
As my friend and office-mate, Kelli, will tell you, there are some days that I just do not function on anything other than Ryan Adams. Luckily, she also has a great appreciation for his music, so she doesn’t mind, and I dare say she’s had a few of those “Ryan Adams Days” herself. Sadly, Ryan Adams is on an indefinite “break” from making music (though he has been producing books of prose with about as much regularly as he did his music), but I am banking on the notion that a consummate musician like him will not be able to help but make more music as time wears on. If not, I take comfort in knowing that I have a tremendous catalog of his music that I can and will listen to until the end of time.
This blog has run a bit lengthy, even by my verbose standards, so while I could probably go on forever discussing this topic, I will leave you off by rounding out my top five favorite artists for you. Coming in at number four is Josh Ritter, who honestly took a while to grow on me. That recommendation came through Levi, as well, and though I was immediately taken by some of Ritter’s lyrics, I wasn’t sold on the sound, and I was ready to throw in the towel. Levi challenged me to press on, and I did – thank goodness I did! Ritter’s voice grew on me, and his lyrics have kept me coming back for more. (Lyrics always get me.) Critics say that Josh Ritter gets better with each album, which I do not doubt and am eagerly looking forward to his next release in May after a LONG wait, but while I think both “The Animal Years” and “The Historical Conquests of Josh Ritter” are epic albums, I stand by my favorite Josh Ritter album, “Hello Starling.” My favorite tunes on that album are “Kathleen” and “Snow is Gone.” Check it out.
My number 5 choice came through Levi in a way, though in this case he is the one that needs to see the light and embrace this artist. Through the marvel of the internet, and the mutual connection to Levi, I have gotten to know Mel, who is always ready to share her musical discoveries (and she has a keen ear for them). So, she is the one who introduced me to Patty Griffin, and oh, what a gift that has been. It is hard to single out one Patty Griffin album, because they are all filled with her rich, soulful style and there are plenty of songs to treasure. For the sake of this exercise, I am going to mention “Impossible Dream” because it contains my favorite Patty Griffin song (which also happens to be the one that most easily slays me), “Useless Desires.”
What are some of your favorite artists or songs or styles? I am interested to know. And if you want to talk even more about music, you know where to find me and I am always up to the task! If you’re just hearing about any of the acts I mentioned above, then you have some rewarding work ahead of you checking them all out!
This weekend, I set off on a Pilgrimage to Mecca.Granted, my “pilgrimage” was a two hour road trip to Jamestown, NC, and my Mecca was the Derek Webb concert at Friendly Hills Church, but the basic idea was the same.Derek Webb’s music has always served to restore my soul, and Derek himself restores my faith in Christianity.
I’m not trying to lay all of that at Derek’s door – he is a good man, but a man all the same.But God has worked through his music to teach me many things in the last decade, and I do not take that for granted.So, whenever Derek plays within a few hours of home, I make it a point to go.
My usual cohort bailed with some lame excuse about a vacation with her husband (heh), so I thought I’d be making this trip solo.At the last minute, though, my friend Katie came through in the clutch and agreed to come along.
I introduced her to Derek’s music on the way down, and much to my delight, before we even crossed the state line, she was excited about seeing the show.She even recognized some of the old Caedmon’s Call catalog, either from radio years ago, or from the fact that we’ve been friends for almost as long as I’ve been listening to Derek’s music, so I’m sure she’s heard it before through me.
We made great time on our trip and scoped out the church before heading to Fuddruckers for dinner.We still made it back to the church nearly an hour and a half before showtime.Derek was there, so I got a chance to talk with him a little bit before the show.He was setting up merch, and two awesome gray-haired church secretaries were preparing to sell tickets.With the opening band and sound guys and various folks milling around, I guess they were trying to account for the people in the foyer, and they turned to me and said, “Are you with the entourage?”Ha!I’m pretty sure Derek has never had an entourage, and will never have an entourage, but I guess if he did, I may as well be with it.Derek explained that we were friends and were just catching up, but still every time one of them saw me through the evening, they would say, “And who are you again?”
We talked a bit about Noisetrade.com, Twitter, his two adorable children, and my hopes for an arranged marriage between his two-month-old daughter and Levi’s one-month-old son.(Because, seriously!Can you imagine the musical genius that would come out of that?)
I also took Derek a gift – a copy of The Unlikely Disciple, which Kevin Roose personally autographed to him.I figured it was only fair that after introducing Derek’s music to Kevin, I should introduce Kevin’s book to Derek.Before I gave it to him, though, another guy walked up and asked me what book I was holding.I flipped it over to show him, and he said, “You’re not gonna believe this.”He proceeded to whip out his iPhone and show me that a mere two hours earlier one of his friends had texted him to say, “Next time you’re in B&N, pick up a copy of The Unlikely Disciple.”I just said, “Well, there you go.I guess you better get a copy now!”
Derek had not heard of the book, so I gave him the brief rundown, and I have a feeling he will enjoy reading it.I snapped a photo of him with the book, mainly for Kevin’s benefit:
Derek headed backstage before the crowd rolled in, and I headed back to my spot on the front row that Katie was saving for me.Before the show, I made it a point to go and make friends with the guy who said he was going to make a bootleg of the show.He was a fan from way back, too, so we had something in common.Devoted, too!He told me that he has driven 14 hours on occasion to hear Derek play!I would do that, too, but thankfully I’ve never had to, because he usually has a show within a few hours of me three or four times a year.(Oh, and just for the record, Derek is 100% in support of bootlegs.So it’s not like I’m outing this guy or anything.)
There was an opening act, whose name escapes me at the moment (isn’t that awful?) – I think it was something Pete.I really liked his voice and some of his song concepts showed great potential.He was a young guy, so I am sure he will continue to grow and get better over time, and then perhaps I will hear his name again and remember it next time!
Derek sent a tweet from backstage saying he was trying to decide what to play.(I had already submitted my request, or I would have responded.)I like that he shoots from the cuff, and I love that he actually asks for requests.As he says, “I can’t promise I’ll play any of the songs you want, but I’d like to hear what they are.”
I lost track long ago of how many Derek Webb shows I’ve seen, but I think Saturday’s was one of the best.The atmosphere at the church was great, and the crowd was smaller, but obviously devoted.Most of all, Derek seemed to be in rare form, and while he sports a wry sense of humor that always gets a chuckle out of me, I found myself actually cracking up laughing several times, along with the rest of the audience.He joked about “the closest thing to a hit that I’ve ever had” that was on Grey’s Anatomy, and about why he and Sandra got married so soon after they started dating.(“I did not want her to get to know me any better until we were on the other side of an irrevocable lifelong commitment.”)
When he called out for requests, the old songs started popping up, as they often do.He agreed to play some of them even though he hadn’t played them in years, and as he stood on stage strumming through chords trying to remember the right key, he quipped, “I don’t want to hear any complaining.This is what you paid good money to see.”One request in particular gave him trouble.He even got about a verse into it and suddenly stopped and said, “Oh!I know what the problem is!”
Thus began a long and thoroughly entertaining story about the song, “Dance,” after which Derek looked at the requester and said, “This is all your fault, sir.”He noted that his diatribe might have made a good blog entry, and said he needed a proxy blogger, and I agreed to the job.But first, a few points of reference:
“Dance” is a song Derek wrote about his grandmother.It appeared on the Caedmon’s Call album, “Long Line of Leavers,” and then after Derek went solo, it popped up on “The House Show” (a live album) in a different style.So, for this sub-blog entry, pretend I’m Derek Webb, and I’ll try to do justice to his story:
I know what’s wrong with this song.There are two versions and I’m trying to mix them together.I wrote this song about my grandmother when I was in Caedmon’s Call for the album “Long Line of Leavers.”Our producer at the time – and he was a really great producer – came to me and said he liked the song, but there were already too many songs on the album with that sound.So, he sat down and played this jazzy, smooth version of my song, and I absolutely hated it.I hated everything about it.But, even though it was my song, a band is a democratic system, and I only got 1 out of 7 votes.So, it went on the album and then I just pretty much refused to play it for the next 5 years.
That’s why, when I went solo, my first album, “She Must and Shall Go Free,” was all Americana.I had to get it out of my system after it had been suppressed for all those years!Then, I found a copy of “Dance,” the way I originally wrote it.It feels strange to hate a song about your grandmother, you know?I don’t hate my grandmother.So, I gave the song another chance and realized it was a pretty good song.So, I went back to playing it how it was meant to be.
So, do me this favor, if you have that Caedmon’s record, skip that song.Or, if you have it on your hard drive or whatever, just delete it.Do it for me.
Derek then proceeded to play the song as it was intended, and he’s right – it’s better that way.I didn’t take note of the full setlist, but from what I remember several days later, he also played “I Want a Broken Heart,” “Awake My Soul” (by request), “Wedding Dress,” “A King and a Kingdom,” “A New Law,” “Name,” “This Too Shall Be Made Right,” and “A Savior on Capitol Hill.”
When he talked about marriage (“I have been to the other side of the mountain and have come back to tell you that it is good.”), he played two Sandra-inspired songs, “I Wanna Marry You All Over Again,” and “I Hate Everything (But You).”For the single folk, he played “Table for Two,” which has long been a favorite of mine.I flipped my camera to video for that one:
As time was running low, he said he was going to play two more songs, and I added, “And one of them is ‘Somewhere North,’ right?”“Oh!Right!”
“Somewhere North” is in my top 5 favorite songs EVER, in any genre and from any artist, so I request it often.When he plays it live, it has two extra lines that were not on the album (40 Acres).I guess that was probably another one of those scenarios where he lost on a vote.I recorded that one, too:
I had told Derek before the show that I probably wouldn’t be around afterwards, since we were driving back to VA that night.But, seriously, who am I kidding?We hung around after to chat.Plus, by the end of the show, Katie was a full-fledged Derek Webb fan (Derek quipped, “I should put you on the payroll”), so we waited around for Katie to get her CD signed.
We started talking about music along the lines of Midlake, St. Vincent (Derek has already heard the demos from the new album and said it is fantastic), Patty Griffin (who reminds me very much of Derek’s wife, Sandra McCracken), and of course, Ryan Adams.
Here is a picture of Derek and Katie.(Yes, I cropped myself out.So sue me.)
The drive back to VA wasn’t nearly as tedious as I had anticipated.We stopped for some snacks along the way and jammed to my Dance playlist for something to keep us wide awake.We got home about 1:00, which I thought was not bad at all.Of course, I promised to take Katie along on the next Derek Webb road trip.
Prior to Saturday’s concert, Derek had been in Texas for a week working on his upcoming album, “Stockholm Syndrome.”He said we should hear something official on that within the next month or so, and I, for one, cannot wait.He said it’s different than anything he’s done before, which I have no trouble believing, since every solo album he’s released has been quite a bit different from the one before.But I’ve learned over the years that there really is no such thing as a bad Derek Webb song.Not even “Bus Driver,” no matter what Derek says.